

“Fortunately, the Milk” is Gaiman at his time-bending, Douglas Adams-esque best, and readers who enjoy fast-paced action alongside a heavy dose of humor are sure to enjoy its nutty twists and turns. Spoiler alert: is it any surprise that the milk ends up saving the day, as well as fate of the universe?

He proceeds to spin the tallest of space-time continuum tales for his slightly skeptical, slightly stunned children – a tale involving an irate Queen of the Pirates a time-travelling, balloon-piloting Stegosaurus with academic credentials who rescues him just in time some grouchy, milk-worshipping natives with a volcano god named Splod funny-accented wumpires and a Galactic Police squad of space-bike-riding dinosaurs. Green, globby, grumpy aliens, that is, with an agenda that involves redecorating the world with pink flamingos (in addition to other tacky home décor items.) As you might imagine, this is just the tip of Dad’s storytelling iceberg. He promptly tells the kids that after buying the milk and saying “a brief hello to Mister Ronson from over the road,” he was abducted by some aliens on his way home.

What could possibly go wrong? In the hands of a master storyteller like Gaiman, the answer is, invariably, plenty.Īs it turns out, Dad is gone for what feels like “ages and ages” on his dairy-deficit trek… but when he finally returns with a bang at the front door, he’s armed not only with the aforementioned milk, but also with an Explanation For the Ages. When it dawns on Dad that no milk for cereal also means there’s no milk for his morning tea, he springs into action, announcing that he will walk down to the corner shop to get some. The Milk Problem becomes readily apparent when, on the second morning of Mum’s absence, the kids inform Dad that their Toastio cereal simply can’t be eaten dry. Mum heads out of town to present a paper on lizards… but only after making absolutely certain that Dad knows exactly what needs to happen while she’s away (don’t forget Saturday’s orchestra practice do not use the upstairs toilet until the plumber comes feed the goldfish, and other household related duties.) Her important parting reminder: pick up some milk soon, as they’re nearly out. This wild adventure story opens with Dad newly in charge of his two children.

Did you know that sometimes, the strangest things can happen just by stepping outside your own house to pick up some milk? In “Fortunately, the Milk,” the latest offering from the ever-fertile mind of Newbery Award-winning author Neil Gaiman ( TheGraveyard Book), the consequences of leaving Dad in charge of the milk-buying while Mom is away have never been wackier or, for that matter, more hilarious.
